How I know the school year has begun

I’m stressed. Pretty much nonstop. I can’t make myself destress, actually. Even if I’m just sitting and not thinking about anything, I can’t force myself to relax. I wish I could just sit here and say that I have no idea what’s going on, but I know exactly what it is.

Life.

I’ve let it get to me. Every year I get better at putting life at arm’s distance and keeping a little bubble of me, Jesus, and the things that I love. Eventually, though, life breaks through. And it’s coming on full force.

Usually my first way to deal with it is to write out a list of all the things I have bearing on me currently. But that’s not it; although I have those things to do (and plenty of them), I don’t even think about them that often. It’s possible that if I were to be capable of actually finishing everything I might relax, but I don’t think that’s the case. I think it’s just that I need to get my life in order again.

Some people always blame their bad moods and irrationality on their situations. I tell them, as I’ve always told people, this: there will always be some bad situation. When you finish this, you’ll have that. When you finish quitting smoking, you’ll have to move schools. When you’re done with high school, college; when finished with college, the workplace. You can’t just live hanging on the edge, waiting for peace and calm. There will never be peace from the outside; all you have left is that peace which passes human understanding.

When I’m stressed like this, I need to listen to music that calms me. I’ve found some I really enjoy recently.

Sufjan Stevens – Seven Swans

Mat Kearney – Nothing Left to Lose

Sia – Breathe Me (link goes to my friend’s MySpace page, where I discovered the song)

P.S. Nerdy friends: is the anti-net neutrality stuff already going into effect?! Because I haven’t been able to reach Google, Digg, Engadget, or MySpace all day. Kinda scared.