RE:Chicago (part 4)

EDIT FOR CLARIFICATION: The sentence “not wanting to just be around lots of white people” should have emphasized the word “just”. I don’t have a problem with being around lots of white people–I just don’t want that to be all there is. Also, “around lots of white people” should have read “around large groups of white people.” I hope this clears some things up.
TUESDAY NIGHT
Tonight there was a panel of speakers who are friends of Max, the hipster former campaign manager who’s currently fundraising to come on CUP staff, and I wrote down the “one sentence of advice for these young students” they were each asked to give. Here are a few that were meaningful:

• Make as much money as you can and live as simply as you can; then give the rest away. (I learned later that this is an almost direct quote from Wesley)
• Chose this day whom you will serve.
• Be ready for your plans to be disrupted.
• Hope is a choice that has to be made anew every day.

WEDNESDAY NIGHT
One thing I know for sure about InterVarsity trips is that they make me very aware of my shortcomings. Not that that’s the purpose (although I’m certain it’s not an unappreciated benefit), but more because I’m tested and pushed and put into situations where I don’t know what to do. This leaves the opportunity (gasp!) to make a mistake. I’ve found that, unless I slowly slip into something problematic, I tend to not struggle much with knowingly acting in ways I shouldn’t. However, when I’m placed into situations and don’t know what to do, I’m suddenly not making bad decisions on purpose, but instead because of lapses in judgment or because I just didn’t know enough about the situation to make the best decision.

It’s humbling, being staff. You bounce from being the authority to realizing (or at least feeling) that there’s no reason you should be the authority. In missionary communities I often find myself feeling like I’m the one who “stayed back home;” in church circles I’m just a campus minister; in educated circles I’m poorly paid, and in poverty theology circles I’m a rich, spoiled American. In racial reconciliation discussions I’m overly aware of my whiteness. Around lots large groups of white people I struggle with not wanting to just be around lots of white people. I’m not really even sure what I’m saying right now. The end.