Some thoughts from the end of ONS Day 2

I have a lot less thoughts today.

• Let’s update: I’m definitely more introverted than I realized. I don’t know if I’m introverted, or just shy and afraid of situations I’m not comfortable in. Loud bar with lots of people I don’t know hugely well and a few close friends? I would probably enjoy it if i were there, but the prospect of walking 10 minutes away to get there didn’t sound appealing. As I think about it, I think I may have just talked myself out of it… because it would have been fun. It was a combination of the distance, the severe shortage of people I know well (people I know well being Dave, my roommate, and maybe Joyce, my friend from pre-staff days), the earliness of my waking up tomorrow (about 7.5 hours from right now), and my dislike for loud, crowded bars. I don’t really know how I feel about this. Would I like it? I should figure this out. I’m glad I have plenty more evenings to figure this out.
• The fund development talks today were a complete and pleasant surprise. They had nothing to do with phone scripts or FDTools or excel spreadsheets or time management. Rather, we talked about Biblical foundations for FD, our own personal motivations and setbacks, family expectations, the difficulties of FD; we had a panel of donors saying why they give and what their motivations and experiences as donors have been; we learned about fund development as storytelling; we learned about the traits that make up for good fund development, and drew comparisons between fund development and being a staffworker; and we got the vison shown for us of fund development not as a necessary evil that prefaces our calling, but rather an integral part of our calling that teaches us about faith, trust, and breaking out of self-dependence and pride. I am in awe.
• “We are the image of the invisible,” the song lyric from Thrice, has been periodically stuck in my head over the last 6 months.
• Did I mention Madison was beautiful?
• Did I mention how much I love being around so many people who understand this aspect of my life?
• I like people’s stories. I love how every story is so much different. I’m copying the words of a friend of mine, but I do love how every story–every relationship, every coming to Christ, every calling to ministry, every everything–is unique and beautiful.
• I have some huge self-esteem issues that I’m in the process of overcoming, and have been since about my freshman year of high school. We’ll see how that works out. There’s a young lady in my life who’s helping with it. I appreciate her for that.
• This time around with said young lady I’ve found myself a lot less sensitive to feeling dorky for expressing romantic interest with her. I think I know it’s appropriate, well-timed, and a lot more mature. I have a bright pink note stuck to my laptop expressing her love for me and anyone within a few tables of me can see it, and I have nothing but pride.
• I am learning more and more that God doesn’t call us to be successful, but to be faithful. How true this is on so many areas of our lives… among which are fundraising, developing students’ relationships with God and leadership gifts, and building and supporting a chapter. That’s freedom. My chapter doesn’t reflect my ability. My students’ willingness to lead, respond, pray, etc. does not reflect my own personal worth. That’s good.
• Yep. That’s all. Sorry again this is so disjointed. I’m going to sleep.