My new friend but long time admiree York Moore (InterVarsity’s National Evangelist) writes on “counting conversions,” a great collection of teaching about what distinguishes a “conversion” from a “decision,” which Jesus would be concerned about, which the Bible records, and what Jesus’ and the Apostles’ evangelistic messages looked like.

One thing that I really appreciated was the listing of the 10 things that York says were a part of every evangelistic message, in a diagram he calls “The Line of the Gospel.” He says that in every Gospel presentation in Scripture, 9 elements were present (and in most, 10 were present). The one that was left out of some was the moral law–but not, as we might assume, because they don’t want to offend people who don’t share their same conviction. Instead, the moral law would be left it if the person was already convicted of their sin.

So, starting with the somewhat-optional Moral Law:

• The Moral Law
• Sin
• Death
• Eschaton (this is my first time even hearing this word)
• Righteousness
• Death/Cross
• Resurrection
• Lordship
• Repentance
• Decision

I’ll let you follow as I walk through trying to process this. I’m hoping to find that somewhere else York has written a document further explaining this, but for now–and since I have no Internet to check or even to look these words up–you’ll see how my brain tries to process it.  NOTE: My understanding of all of this is very limited. That’s why I’m trying to read up on it. So please, correct me, teach me, expand my knowledge. I’ll even buy you lunch for it if you want.

The Moral Law

All have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God. There’s a moral law written on all of our hearts, and none of us have or will meet up with it.

Sin

Sin is separation from God. I wish I had a better understanding here, because I’d normally say “sin is when you break the Moral Law”; yet I’m not really sure if that’s theologically correct. But I do know that it means separation from God, the giver of the Moral Law.

Sin is multi-faceted, and there are many words that we translate as sin. But there are some things for sure, as York writes: “We have been born into sin (hamartia) and have actively sinned against God and our world (hamartema) and are in the process of embracing a love for sin (hamartano) which will lead to our eventual absolute depravity and worthlessness (adokimus).” And each/every/all? of these elements of sin break our relationship with God, drawing us away from him and his desires.

Death

I also know the consequences (“wages”, to use Bible-speak) of Sin is death. If you sin, the consequence is death. And everyone sins.

Eschaton

OK. I know that eschatology has to do with studying and being aware of things to come (the end of the world.) So I’ll say this next step is sharing the reality of the return of the King and His judgment.

There will come a day when the King of the world will return to the earth and will judge the living and the dead. To those who are a part of him, he will say “welcome home.” For those who are not, he will say, “depart from me, for I never knew you.” The not folks are headed to a lake of eternal fire, along with Satan and his minions.

Righteousness

Here’s where I get confused. I would’ve assumed that righteousness and Lordship go hand-in-hand; making Jesus the Lord of your life ties nicely in with working out your salvation with fear and trembling, working towards righteousness. But that’s not it. Is this God’s righteousness? Is it Jesus’ righteousness while he was on earth? Is that, “An unrighteous man will sure not enter the Kingdom of God?” Not sure.

York is talking about Jesus’ righteousness here. I definitely don’t know everything there is to say here, but I do know that a good understanding of how our righteousness is obtained (imputed? infused? whatever?), we must start with the understanding of Jesus’ righteousness. Beyond that, I still have a lot to learn.

Death/Cross

OK, so Jesus died on a cross. But whereas our deaths pay for our sin, Jesus has a lot more power, and was able to take the consequence–the debt owed–for the sin of all people onto his back. Because of this, his death didn’t just pay for his sin–it paid for everyone’s sin. Ever.

Also, Jesus’ death was not just a normal death. Quoting York, “he was mercilessly beaten, scourged, spit upon and ultimately died at the hands of sinful men. Isaiah 53:10 tells us that it was the Lord’s will to “crush him,” thus signifying that Christ’s death was a result of God’s direct wrath and judgment, poured out on Him on our behalf.”

Resurrection

Foggy here again. I know the resurrection is vital in many, many ways–that it is a solid historical fact that gives proof to Jesus’ status as God, that it foretells our coming new life. But I want a better understanding of its significance in the role of this story and this evangelism, because I think I’m missing something.

Lordship

OK. I know that Jesus wants to be Lord of our lives. I don’t know if he ever says those words, but it’s clear that he wants that. “If you love me, you will obey my commands” is one. Another is the fact that the Kingdom of God is a place where God is King–so the thing that Jesus preached all that time was a place where he was the King, and people obeyed his command.

York referenced in his post “The Lordship of Christ,” and while that phrase seems like it would practically refer to what I wrote above, it looks like a broader concept–not just that Jesus wants to be our Lord, but that there’s no hope unless he is. “The Lordship of Christ is necessitated because any other captain at the helm will only lead us further into the deep seas of death and judgment.”

Repentance

Again, I’m a little fuzzy about the order here. Doesn’t Lordship come after repentance? Either way, I know that when he took the consequence of our sin on his shoulders, Jesus didn’t automatically apply that salvation (freedom from the penalties of our behavior) to everyone. Rather, he bundled up all that salvation and freedom as a present, and held it out to each of us. We need to accept the gift in order to reap its benefits, and when Scripture talks about accepting that gift, there are a few steps to it.

I’m not a Biblical scholar in this aspect, but I know that repentance, baptism, and public proclamation of your new status are all a part of it. I don’t know which is required when. But I do know that a part of both receiving the gift and of making God your King and Lord is repentance–turning 180º from where you were before. Walking toward sin? Turn 180º and walk toward God.

Once again, I know it’s more complex. But that’s what I have so far.

Decision

See! Once again, I’m confused with the order. Because the thing above describes decision–you have to decide to receive the gift. It’s not forced on you.

OK. Thanks for walking through that with me. I’d love to hear your thoughts, both on York’s model and on my experiences with it. Please teach me better theology! Show me where I’m dearly missing huge chunks of essential Scripture or practice.

Pause for a moment. Racialization is not the same as racism. I first read the term in Divided by Faith, an incredible book that gave me so much understanding and wisdom and research and fact (to add to the personal testimony I’d gained) about the race situation in America and in the church. Racialization as I read it is not the same as racism; racism is a knowing dislike of and unfair negative approximation of a person’s worth because of their skin color, ethnicity, etc. (which in our world fall under the social construct “race.”) However, many people have told me that white people who don’t get super-involved with race issues, etc. are racist. I always clashed with that. Instead, Divided by Faith presents the concept of a racialized society–one that has distinct lines drawn along the boundaries of race. More black men in prison, segregated churches, different health rates and hiring rates and educational quality, etc. So, you can exist in your happy white world, unaware of what’s going on with people of ethnic minorities, and you can think great things about them–you’re not a racist. Yet if you aren’t actively learning about and doing things to end racialization, you’re still allowing a racialized society to persist–which isn’t any a lot better.

Back to the original point: I’ve been making some comments recently on Twitter about Black characters on TV. Essentially, I like to watch TV while I design web sites–it distracts me just enough to keep from getting bored, but it’s not stimulating enough to slow down my work. I’ve been watching a lot of normal shows recently–not advanced, award-winning shows that are on the forefront of social commentary, but plain old normal shows–and I’ve noticed a trend across all of them: Black people are accessories.

It’s sad. It’s a terrible thing to admit. And, growing up, I would’ve told the person saying what I’m saying now to stop whining. But there’s something to this. In these shows I’ve been watching, the Black characters fall into a few simple categories:

• The mean girl’s follower best friend
• The drug dealer
• The young kid from the projects who’s trying to make his way out playing basketball
• The “mammy”, the homely, simple, sweet but a little sassy mother/neighbor/grandmother/landlady
• The voodoo mystic (usually African, Haitian, or from New Orleans)

There are certainly others, but I can’t tell you the last time I saw a consistent Black character with depth that didn’t fall into some strong stereotype. Smallville had Petey, but he disappeared right quick. I know there have been others–everyone can name a show with a Black president or a Black best friend. But in general, I’ve been more and more disappointed the more I see.

Obviously, this is excepting movies and TV intended for Black audiences. From what I can gather, I once would’ve been able to point to BET, but now it seems to be shirking its original intention of giving Black Americans A) real roles for the actors/characters and B) programming that meets them where they are.

Anyway, that’s where I’ve been coming from. I find that I’ve been mentioning this a lot recently, and I decided it was time to really write something about it and see if people wanted to say anything about this, teach me more, learn from what I’ve learned, or whatever else.

*Edit*: If you’re interested in learning more about these topics, two of the best sites (in my opinion) are UrbanFaith and Racialicious. UrbanFaith looks at national issues from a Black Christian context; Racialicious is devoted to all things racially motivated/striated. One note: Racialicious contributors are very comfortable with sex and some language that might make some people uncomfortable, so visit if you can handle it.

The problem is, not a lot of people (as far as I can tell) actually use the site. People often find us through the site, but it’s seldom that I hear a student talking about their use of the site or discovering something new through the site. It’s a pain to remember to update it, since we can do Notes and Events in Facebook, and getting students whose lives revolve around Facebook to regularly use an external web site is ridiculous. What intrinsic motivation do they have to regular visit the site? Nothing. And few to none of them use RSS readers, so that does nothing.

On the other hand, the Facebook group

• Allows us to create events with RSVPs and photo galleries
• Allows students to invite friends to events and discuss rides/etc
• Gives me a convenient way to message everyone (we have a Listserv on the web site, but e-mailing students is almost worthless these days–if you want a response, send a facebook message)
• Requires no backend programming or updates
• Is free

Finally, Facebook pages are even more powerful than groups:

• They allow your page to be visible to non-facebook-users (increasing outside visibility)
• They make your group an actual facebook entity, meaning you can use the Publisher–release status updates, write/import Notes, post links, photos, and videos–and these updates show up in your students’ feeds
• Using a new feature called Insights, you can track your visits and the popularity of certain aspects of your page
• There’s much more possibility for customization, allowing you to add tabs and customize your site design and programming using FBML (Facebook’s version of HTML)

So, I’ve created the InterVarsity Christian Fellowship at UF InterVarsity Christian Fellowship – UF Undergrad page I realized after I created it that I should’ve named it “InterVarsity Undergrad at UF”, so I hope that doesn’t come back to haunt me when Greek (and Grad?) chapters want their own pages. I’m trying to figure out if I should start a new page now, before I invite people, or try to learn how to change it.

Once I learn how to change the name or just start a new one (or just stick with this name), I’ll put up more information about how everything’s working out in the transition. I tagged this with “facebookpage“, and hopefully I’ll remember to do the same in the future.

I’m trying to figure out what I think about professional worship musicianship (the title/position/cultural entity, not them as people). There are a lot of things involved in this discussion and a lot of things that affect how I can look at the discussion. Here are a few.

• I’m a full-time employee of InterVarsity Christian Fellowship, a Christian campus ministry. I’m essentially paid (although, since I fund-raise, it’s a little more complicated than that) so that I can do all day the type of ministry that all Christians are called to, but have less time to do because of their full-time jobs.
• I love the worship leader at my church, Steve Adams. I don’t think he should be asked to do the work he does without being compensated.
• I believe someone could make the point according to Biblical precedent that no one should be “paid to minister” (the term “professional ministers” comes up often in these discussions). However, I believe that these sorts of arguments–at least, in the context of what I’m discussing here–forget that there’s also no Biblical precedent for “churches” like we have today, so unless you’re a part of a house church type movement, I’m not sure if I think this argument holds a lot of weight. Also, there was this guy in the Bible named Paul who set a little bit of a precedent here.
• I regularly enjoy the music recorded and written by professional musicians. I’m currently listening to music from Eddie James, and have benefitted greatly by the ministry of many modern Christian worship leaders/musicians–among others, Jason Upton and Fred Hammond.
• I make a distinction here between Christian musicians and Christian Worship musicians. I know that all Christian music can be called worship; however, a musician who is a full time musician who is a Christian is, in my eyes, different than a full-time worship leader/musician. Derek Webb writes desperately God-focused music, and while his music reflects more strongly a deep relationship with God than many mainstream worship leaders, I consider him a Christian musician, not a worship leader. Tell me if you think I’m wrong. I’d love to think more on this topic.
• I recognize that the previous point is debatable, as I have a somewhat tenuous distinction between the two. I have a very arbitrary distinction in my mind that is definitely a stretch and which I recognize as incomplete: I feel like Derek Webb and his compatriots (for an extreme, see Pedro the Lion’s David Bazan) have the freedom to have whatever relationship with God they have. They can have good days and bad days, they can question God and their faith, and they can show themselves as regular people. I don’t feel like worship leaders are given the same allowance to be human.
• Compelled to feel joyful: I would venture that every Christian, at one point in their lives, has sat in a Christian gathering while everyone else smilingly sang “You Give Me Joy” or another such song, and thought, “I have no joy! I’m such a hypocrite for singing this!” I would urge them to sing anyway, and see how God moves in their hearts. As a worship musician, I have a similar experience–yet it’s so much easier for me to sit and play the bass lines to “You Give Me Joy” without engaging at all in the lyrical/spiritual content of the song. This is definitely a danger.
• I recognize the value of smiling if you’re on stage at church. I also hate being told to smile, and cannot force myself to do so if someone’s required me to.
• I feel something of a weight when I’m in a church full of people dancing, jumping, and singing. On the one hand, I’m so happy that God means so much to people. On the other hand, I can’t say that I can confidently claim that the church is bringing that sort of joy out into the world. Yes! Given one or the other, I’d prefer people be joyful and passionate when they’re intentionally in fellowship and in God’s presence. But I feel like we can have both.
• Local versus Traveling: I also struggle some with the concept of the traveling worship musician. I spent much of my middle school and high school free time as a part of a very charismatic, spirit-filled group of worshippers who loved spending time in a literal upper room praying and singing and crying out, but who never (to my memory) helped a single poor person or saw anyone come to Christ. That same “worship culture”, for a desperate lack of a better word, is present in a lot of groups that jump and hoot and holler when their favorite worship musician comes into town, and they all have a big emotional Jesus fest, and then they go back home and do nothing. I’m not saying that anyone who goes to Christian concerts is bad! I’m saying that I worry that traveling musicians may feed into the subculture of Christian “worshippers” who are passionate at church and unengaged outside of church. Where local musicians/worship leaders are members of the congregations they minister to/with, traveling musicians don’t have the same connection. Again! I listen to worship CDs, I listen to other church’s podcasts, and I’ve been to plenty a worship concert in my day. I’m just somewhat troubled by the entire mindset of the traveling worship musician, and I’m struggling to find out why–and completely open to the conclusion that it’s just my personal issue.
• I may add more here. I feel like it’s a broader issue, but all this typing has made me forget all of my original thoughts about it.

The pastor of my local church body, Mike Patz, said something recently that I really appreciate. The gist was this: “I was thinking about watching Religulous [(a movie critical of religious people)]. Then I realized, I can criticize the church plenty on my own. I don’t need someone else to help me with it.”

In the same way, the last thing I want is for this to be a complaint session about the modern church. I’m sick and tired of “enlightened” Christians in my generation sitting around and complaining. Instead, I’m trying to develop a right theology so that I can be a part of bringing the church closer to Jesus, and would really love some people with more wisdom than me to share their insight into the areas of my confusion.

NOTES (added later)

• My friend Jeff asked “What’s a professional worship musician,” and then “What’s a worship musician?” This prompted me to think about what exactly makes one a worship musician–considering that “worship” certainly means more than music. Could part of my problem be a feeling that one can be a church/Christian event musician without being a true worshipper? I don’t know, but I definitely think that’s very close to the heart of the issue–at what point is there so much structure in something that it allows someone to “participate” in it without actually getting the point? Maybe it ties into my early  dislike for all things rigid and traditional.

Thanks for your suggestions, help, and encouragement.

Pros:

• Playing bass in front of 22,000 people
• Playing and worshiping with an amazing set of musicians, writing new music, playing all sorts of different styles
• Not being frustrated if someone ends up playing who I think I could play as well as/better than

Cons:

• $300 plane ticket to audition
• Crazy nerves for audition
• Huge time commitment if I make it–the worship team will play 6-10 gigs together between September 08 and December 09
• Personal struggles with whether or not I really consider myself a performance bassist or whether I just serve where needed–how much of my desire to do this is to serve a need, and how much is because I’m prideful about my abilities? Also, how comfortable will I feel playing in front of that many people? Whoo boy.

Any feelings, ideas, contributions?

• I’m sitting outside of the capitol and there’s a farmers’ market surrounding the entire capitol square. People-watchers, [insert phrase here that means "enjoy yourself." I couldn't remember what the phrase was... the only thing I could think of was "eat your heart out", and somehow that doesn't seem right.]
• I finally gave in and learned all about Myers Briggs, took the formal MBTI test (who knew that the “Center for Application of Psychological Type,” whose brochure we’re using to teach use about MB, is in Gainesville), had some long conversations about it, and took MyType on Facebook. I am, officially, and after some figuring, an ESFP, an Extroverted Sensing Feeling Perceiver. That means a lot of things, but it mainly means that I understand myself a lot more now. I know that seems silly, but part of the process of figuring out my MB type was figuring out that some aspects of my character are that way because of my family, some because of people’s expectations of me, and some because of the way I actually am as a person. It’s nice to start figuring out which are which.
• I evangelize some non-Christ things like crazy. It’s never on purpose, but the list keeps growing. This week they’ve been: Books of the Bible presentation (from whom I just got an e-mail regarding their future plans… exciting…), Moleskine, and Mac. We’re actually thinking about starting a MUG (which I never heard of before this week) for InterVarsity staff who use Macs, because there’s so little organizational support for Macs and such a growing number of us who use them.
• There was a dance party last night. I seldom enjoy dancing–not that I have a problem with it, but that I’m uncomfortable doing something when I feel like everyone else is better than me (and I know that’s not rational, but I can’t really control that feeling)–but this particular party happened to have a Wii party across the hall from it, which was a very nice alternative. So, I played Smash Brothers and Rayman Raving Rabbids while the more self-assured staff danced their faces off.
• I’ve never been as encouraged about staff, fundraising, or the particular things I’m involved in on campus. I’m encouraged about the ISM (International Student Ministry) some of my students want to start, I’m encouraged about BCM (the Black Collegiate Ministry) in the Southeast, I’m encouraged about our Nurses’ Christian Fellowship, I’m encouraged about fundraising and my call to staff and InterVarsity as a movement. This is good.
• Mario and Princess Peach just walked by me. There is some sort of treasure hunt/scavenger hunt/something going one, and we’ve been seeing pairs of people run by in matching clothing with marathon-like numbers on their chests and bags on their backs. Most are dressed like runners, some are dressed like middle-aged people trying to dress like runners, and those two were dressed like Mario and Princess Peach.
• Did I mention that Madison is gorgeous? Madison is gorgeous.
• That’s it for now. I’m going to get my butt off of my computer for some of my Sabbath and see what sort of reflections are in store for me.
• I just had some confirmation that I’m an extrovert. Dave, my roommate, left the Starbucks I’m sitting at about 10 minutes ago, and I’m already craving human interaction. Yep.

• Let’s update: I’m definitely more introverted than I realized. I don’t know if I’m introverted, or just shy and afraid of situations I’m not comfortable in. Loud bar with lots of people I don’t know hugely well and a few close friends? I would probably enjoy it if i were there, but the prospect of walking 10 minutes away to get there didn’t sound appealing. As I think about it, I think I may have just talked myself out of it… because it would have been fun. It was a combination of the distance, the severe shortage of people I know well (people I know well being Dave, my roommate, and maybe Joyce, my friend from pre-staff days), the earliness of my waking up tomorrow (about 7.5 hours from right now), and my dislike for loud, crowded bars. I don’t really know how I feel about this. Would I like it? I should figure this out. I’m glad I have plenty more evenings to figure this out.
• The fund development talks today were a complete and pleasant surprise. They had nothing to do with phone scripts or FDTools or excel spreadsheets or time management. Rather, we talked about Biblical foundations for FD, our own personal motivations and setbacks, family expectations, the difficulties of FD; we had a panel of donors saying why they give and what their motivations and experiences as donors have been; we learned about fund development as storytelling; we learned about the traits that make up for good fund development, and drew comparisons between fund development and being a staffworker; and we got the vison shown for us of fund development not as a necessary evil that prefaces our calling, but rather an integral part of our calling that teaches us about faith, trust, and breaking out of self-dependence and pride. I am in awe.
• “We are the image of the invisible,” the song lyric from Thrice, has been periodically stuck in my head over the last 6 months.
• Did I mention Madison was beautiful?
• Did I mention how much I love being around so many people who understand this aspect of my life?
• I like people’s stories. I love how every story is so much different. I’m copying the words of a friend of mine, but I do love how every story–every relationship, every coming to Christ, every calling to ministry, every everything–is unique and beautiful.
• I have some huge self-esteem issues that I’m in the process of overcoming, and have been since about my freshman year of high school. We’ll see how that works out. There’s a young lady in my life who’s helping with it. I appreciate her for that.
• This time around with said young lady I’ve found myself a lot less sensitive to feeling dorky for expressing romantic interest with her. I think I know it’s appropriate, well-timed, and a lot more mature. I have a bright pink note stuck to my laptop expressing her love for me and anyone within a few tables of me can see it, and I have nothing but pride.
• I am learning more and more that God doesn’t call us to be successful, but to be faithful. How true this is on so many areas of our lives… among which are fundraising, developing students’ relationships with God and leadership gifts, and building and supporting a chapter. That’s freedom. My chapter doesn’t reflect my ability. My students’ willingness to lead, respond, pray, etc. does not reflect my own personal worth. That’s good.
• Yep. That’s all. Sorry again this is so disjointed. I’m going to sleep.

• Madison is gorgeous. My window faces the state capitol (which I learned was the biggest state capitol building in America), and a few blocks down the street there’s a huge… patio?… overlooking a gorgeous lake. The city has been taken care of, as it’s both a capitol and a college town. It’s gorgeous.
• The Midwest, although having nicer temperatures in the summer, has the unnatural creature that is the mosquito. Florida, I love you.
• It’s really unnerving (in a very good way) to be meeting so many people in the same state of life as me. We all have to fundraise, we’re all new staff, we’re all trying to prove ourselves and not quite sure what we’re doing.
• I may be more of an introvert than I think. A friend (who I’m hopefully on the way toward making a closer friend) invited me out on the town for his birthday tonight, and I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I’d love to go out with him–make new friends, relax, and most importantly celebrate his birthday with him. But I couldn’t. I need to relax, sit alone, journal my thoughts, read a little… It’s a very necessary part of my day. Who knows. I’m getting my Myers-Briggs test results back on Friday, so we’ll know a little better then. My roommate has me pegged as an ENFP; let’s see if he’s right.
• I like actually missing people. I’ve told people I’ve missed them before out of an obligation (like I would feel like a bad friend/boyfriend if I didn’t.) That sucks. I’m glad that’s over: I miss Tereva. I miss my friends. I miss the Long family. I miss my family. I like that. I hate missing them, but I love caring enough about them enough to actually mourn their absence.
• InterVarsity has a wonderful leadership and leadership structure. Alec Hill, the president, sat down to dinner with my table tonight, and I actually feel like he wanted to know about me and my life. My previous interactions with him have shown him humble, personable, and considerate. The leadership in general reflects humility and grace. I like it a lot.
• One of the announcements they made at the beginning of ONS was about the Entry Posture Diagram, a diagram we use to describe our attitudes (good or bad) when encountering a new culture. They asked that we be open, unjudgmental, and a lot of other great adjectives that are far enough across the room that I’m not going to go get the sheet and type it here. I really appreciated them pointing out that the things we learn this week will be old hat for some of us and brand new for some of us, and that they’re doing their best to meet everyone well. They asked that we keep that in consideration, and if anything’s old hat that we help others out. I needed to hear that. I know frustration will be a temptation, as ONS is focused around A) Fund Development and B) Multiethnicity, both things I’m at least moderately experienced in. I want to fight the temptation to get all haughty about my own experience.
• Christopher Adam has decided to move on with their lives and continue as a band. As much as I enjoyed and loved being a part of the band, and regret the parting of our ways, I’m desperately happy for them not being held back by my decision to stay in Gainesville. I’ve felt some guilt over my decision to stay in Gainesville, but I’ve known it’s right; so the email from Adam regarding their decision (Adam, please email me again if I shouldn’t be writing this here) was at the same time sad and hopeful. I wish them the best, and I hope to be as involved as possible in their future.
• That may be all. I’m sure there will be more later… possibly even later tonight. We’ll see. I look forward